Wednesday, May 11, 2011

"I'm gettin paper"

As we settled into our first drinks at the bar (him whiskey, me water) my buddy, a titanically proportioned Chinese douchebag who likes to sport haircuts that make him look like he's from some past's vision of the future and was presently rocking a bizarre 1942 Germany 3rd Reich sort of  "is it a toupee or not?" said, "The best part about this night is that it's going to end with you handing me automatic weapons." 

And after "Old Man Tom" or whatever the white-haired mothball-mouthed drunken elderly gent's name was who stumbled into the club to talk loudly and incoherently while flinging foul smelling saliva at us, and the rappers from Nashville performed on cordless mics by rapping over their own CD (is that normal?), and me, my friend, Old Man Tom, some of the rap crew from Nashville, and a few hipsters cut up the floor to Gucci Mane, and my buddy and I spoke passionately at the bar about racial slang in the wrong hands (our bartender friend chiming in with, "'Oriental? I hate that fuckin word! Do I look like a fuckin Coolie to you?") and our new rap project where he'll make the beats out of old country songs and I'll rap like all fast and crazy like Twista, and Old Man Tom wandered out the door and never came back, and we made it back to my place- me with smeary makeup and him still looking like an asshole, I did hand him automatic weapons.

I'm face painting again 4 days a week and it's as strange, fun, and frustrating as ever. A parent dropped a packet of cocaine in line a few days ago. It was sealed in a little pink chicklet-sized plastic square. My co-worker, a north Philly native, took one sideways look at it and said, "Oh yeah, that's coke. I grew up playing with those!" and I felt very lucky to be from a small town in Maine, where horse shit was my cocaine chicklet.

And now it's 4 am and I have finally written something, though poorly and not at all what I wanted. I give up. Here are some photos from the last few weeks.

(Oh, and PS- add my band on facebook and pre-order our new record! And check out the pre-order shirt design... I made it!)

1 comment:

  1. haha! you guys are playing in grand rapids the day before i drive down there for another show! and your playing with cloud rat who might be the best band in michigan right now.........holy fucking coincidence!

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